I dont know what kind of results i will get this time round, because i did really bad for ut1 and 2. Therefore i dun expect something like what i achieved in the past. Indeed, the past was past. It wont happen anymore. I tried to get back those kinds of feelings but its different now. No matter how i go about changing things and stuff, it doesnt work. Thats ironic.

Like what i said, i'm tired. I worked hard, but still this is how it turned out to be. Am i suppose to face so much problem this year? Hmmm, maybe i should have a look at the feng shui book. See what kind of god can help me. Yeah, i was stubborn at times, but thats how i am. Doing things i like and not changing to things i dont like.

I made many assumptions, because i couldnt get the right reason. I dont know whats right and whats wrong. I couldnt feel how you felt. I wanted to know, but the book was not opened for me to read. How am i suppose to know the content then? Honestly, i got many kinds of reactions, feelings, attitude, behaviors and i was trying to understand what all the different expressions i received means. Am i suppose to be quiet when you do this? Am i suppose to be leaving you alone when there is nothing to talk? Or should i just try to find something out of nowhere to approach you? You know what, i was thinking hard everyday. Whats going to be the next thing i am going to tell you about. But still i didnt handle it well. Yeah, quite a failure i know. I suck at this.

I once mentioned about accepting someone like who they used to be. Basically, instead of telling the person to change, you can try to understand the person better and give in when the table turns over. If you know the person is capable of spitting vulgarity at you when he/she blow up, then when it happens, at least there is a excuse to tell yourself that he/she doesnt mean it.

I know you pretty well, thats why i have been initiating alot because you dont have the habit to do so. And its natural for me to assume every single reason behind your response. Because i would like to come out with a better one for the next time when i initiate again. Of course to you i am assuming the wrong things because to me, i have been getting poor response. Who would feel good for getting a poor response while they put in the effort to do something. And thats why, assumption was all i could do.