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Friday, December 4, 2009 It's my fault. I admit. I started it, i know, i was the cause, i dragged you into this. You thought i love you when i wanted to forget someone, thats how you think. The fact is, i love you too. I didnt know you wasnt real happy at all, tell me then, why keep it to yourself since the start? Throwing everything in your mind now? Or just vending your anger? How do you want me to differentiate when i am in this situation? I didnt want to hurt you any longer because the more we drag,the deeper you will be hurt,i wanted to end it now so that you will feel better. Havent i been doing my job as a good boyfriend? Havent i been seeing you smile whenever you are with me?Havent i been taking care of you whenever you need someone to hold on to you when you fall?Havent i been trying my best to be there for you?Yet,i am just a fucker to you. Thanks alot for letting me know. I finally realise i such a failure. Failing to make you happy, furthermore failing to know you are not happy at all. I thought we could be a step further than being friends, good friends, and even best friends. Looks like best friends is the furthest we can go? Or have i been deceived that you are not even treating me as a best friend? Everything is fake to you? You trying to say that? We started being complicated,now we are ending with a destroyed ending point.Maybe this is how it goes.When you dont jump off from a stable ground,you will not land off being stable.1 month was what we have in the beginning, i told you before you even agreed. You nodded your head and i grab your hands.1 month past.I realise we can go further because everything was fine and we were not willing to let it go.We both kept quiet,trying to deceive ourselves.Trying to treasure the time we have even though we know it wont last long. I have no intention in ditching you,i dont mind if you are the person who ditch me because i am waiting for you to do something about it because i know,if i am the one saying it,you will be hurt.But if it is another way round,you would feel better.Trust me.But things aint going anywhere like this.Since i started it,then i should end it myself without putting you on spot. I tried so hard to care about your feelings because i know you are always the one caring about other people feelings,always sacrificing yourself to make people happy.I wanted to be someone who can dote on you and really take care of you because you didnt get what you deserve from your family and friends. And the thing is LOVE. I wanted to be the person who can give you love. I wanted to be the one loving you whole heartedly. And i did.But what did i get in return?Not happy at all,i ditching you,you love me but i didnt love you,and especially i am told to fuck off and i am a fucker to you. Fine.Whatever you say.There is nothing i can do since this is how you think about me. I proved it with actions. Think about why did your friends said you always bully your boyfriend? Who was the one listening to your problems?Who was the one encouraging you to do better whenever you did not do well for ut?Who was the one trying to get you focus on revising your work when you are distracted?Who was the one helping you, encouraging you, and supporting you whenever your ex and his girlfriend is giving you nonsense? It's "ME".Your fucking boyfriend over here. Think about this...Who is the one who always walk out of me? Who is the one who always leave me behind and i got to catch up by walking 2 times faster? Who is the one who always make me think of how to stop you so that i can catch up? Calling you bird, tortoise, chicken, pulling your bag and more and more. This is how i stop you everyday from leaving my side. How did you react upon hearing all this names? Stopped and charge towards me to pinch me.Thats all i need.I just want you to be by my side. I dont care what you do. What i care is just you walking by my side. I know you played your part too. Accompanying me to interview, accompany me to arcade and see me play the same thing again and again. I know, everything you did is in my head. I played my part too my dear. Stop using your butt and eyes. Use your heart to feel. You always said you will appreciate what you have. Have you? All he did in the past was making you cry, worried, sleepless, and sadness. Look how much love have you received?It's something you cant get from your friends nor family. Because my love for you is unique. Wei Ping posted at 11:40 PM |
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